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Archive for the ‘HOMEMADE QUOTES’ Category

Coat Hangers

I’ve long suspected that coat hangers fool around in dark closets.  How else can we account for the way they get so hopelessly entangled when we leave them alone for awhile–not to mention the way they multiply with reckless disregard for overpopulation?

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Serious

There is a place for seriousness in our lives, but it shouldn’t be as big as the place we reserve for frivolity.

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If we could undo or repair any mistake or action, then nothing would be serious.

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There’s a distinct possibility that nothing is serious anyway.

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Sins

Where would our culture be without the seven deadly sins:  greed, envy, lust, sloth, hate, gluttony, pride?  Almost every sales pitch and political address is appealing to at least one of them.

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The Message

There’s an old Talmudic saying that every person is born into this world with a special message to give to the rest of us.  But what I want to know is:  why have so many people concluded that their message is, “Have a nice day”?

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Tragedy

Cycle of a modern tragedy:  1)  media people descend on survivors, shamelessly picking at the shreds of emotional trauma (How does it feel to lose your loved ones?), 2)  officials start blaming, 3)  attorneys file lawsuits, 4) relatives sell the media rights, 5)  TV docu-drama is cast, 6)  funerals are held.

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Crises

In a crisis, don’t become part of the confusion.  Leap right in and issue firm commands:  “Take cover!”  “Boil some water!”

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Caution

To ensure a peaceful future, assume that 1)  all mikes are live, 2)  all guns are loaded, 3)  all love letters will be kept and 4)  while what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas,  what’s posted on the Internet, stays on the Internet–forever.

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